What’s the matter here?

The words are hard to find today. The world seems to be imploding upon itself in many ways, everywhere we turn. COVID-19. Protests and violence in response to the death of George Floyd at the hands of the police. An awakening in many ways across America that is long past due. It all weighs heavy on my heart and mind, as I’m sure it does with all of you.

I have no idea what the right words are to get my thoughts and feelings out appropriately, so I can only do my best hoping the intention in my heart will forgive any ignorant or offensive or arrogant sounding tone that may come from them. My heart hurts like everyone else’s right now.

We know it is more than past time for radical change in our country, and for us to wake up, as a white race, to face our part in the social constructs that are exploding across our country right now. I hope we can all agree about that, on one level or another. The way I see it is unless you ARE a person of color in this country, you one million percent do not get what it is like to BE a person of color in our country. We can say we can only imagine, but I don’t know we truly can even come close, and many of us can’t even see our own part in perpetuating the social bias we have absorbed over our lifetime. We can’t let ourselves be that vulnerable or honest with ourselves, because it’s not who we want to believe we are. We don’t want to see how we have contributed to the problem.

I truly believe, however, that most of us truly want to be part of the solution. The majority of police are not racist and cruel. The majority of people want things to be better. We know we can and must do better, in so many ways. And while I feel time will be the best storyteller about the history that is currently being made, we can all continue to do what we can every day to try to make our world a better place in whatever small ways we can find. Whether it’s helping a neighbor, or sending a letter or a word of kindness, or peacefully protesting at a rally. The big issues will take time, yet we can continue practicing the change we want to see now in whatever ways we can. We can start – or continue to- make kindness a daily practice in any way we can find.

I hope we start some hard conversations.

I hope we learn to listen to understand, not to formulate an argument.

I hope we collectively educate ourselves on how to be part of the change the world needs, and to really SEE each other.

I hope we lean into how painful confronting our own bias is and do the hard work anyway.

I hope my children are part of the changing of the world’s narrative, and are part of creating a new history for us all.

I hope we are all finally, completely, AWAKENED.

I hope.

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